The Museum of Pointy Things


Bunty had come well armed; her ever trusty confectionary belt, which she wore concealed under her thick tweed skirt held a veritable arsenal and not all of it consisted of icing nozzles and spatulas.

Over the years she had researched the Tenna Lady in all her evil guises and had developed a collection which was so ancient and extensive that she could have opened a dark museum in the basement of a Grade 1 listed building unless some idiot decided to scupper the funding by deciding to put in  a stupid lift, which he’d never get consent for anyway.

Fortunately Bunty was extremely wealthy and could open her own museum-so there.

The weapons of choice however were seemingly mundane objects; buttons hanging by a thread, particularly those toggles that look like dinosaur teeth, cheap tawdry costume jewellery that rattled, held together by elastic, various pointy things such as sticks, a model of Blackpool Tower, pencils, those green triangular chocolates, a set square which neither she or Lola liked as they hated geometry sets with a passion as they were good for nothing except that the tin was handy for stashing cigarettes or  biscuits and the compass was handy for sticking in a neighbour’s leg in class.

The real ace she literally kept up her sleeve.

“Lola,” she whispered, “find a stick!”

Miss Marbles had no intention of letting them destroy the Imperial Cake Palace of the Creature; as a cake detective extraordinaire she had spent a life time searching for such a folly and its discovery would be the apex of her career and would make her famous around the world of not only cake but the dizzying heights of confectionary.

Sparky should have done as he was told and just followed behind but had decided to wander off by himself in a blizzard and wasn’t wearing suitable clothes for the weather risking certain death and the distinct possibility of being eaten by wolves or stumbling around snow blind before freezing to death.

Lola found a stout stick which they dressed with buttons, jangling jewellery, pointy things and some bells and ribbons, just for the hell of it. They dressed Bunty’s confectionary whip in a similar fashion and it quickly emerged that this had been one of its original functions as Bunty’s ancestors had often encountered the Tenna Lady in days of yore in the olden days.

Bunty and Lola had experienced rationing, although the Tuff-Muffins did have a secret horde of sugar and Lola had contacts on the Black and even the Grey market and some other shades so never went short of cigarettes and stockings.

Yet, the amount of sugar needed to create this full sized palace would have been phenomenal.

“I do believe Bunty, that the tales of the secret Romanov sugar mines must be true!” said Lola.

The confectionary whip and Lola’s stick started to twitch violently and crossed like divining rods when they have discovered water.

“Bingo!” cried Bunty.

“Oh not that silly old stick! said Lola, looking around for Bunty’s strange Uncle, the proprietor of Appen Asylum.

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