Let Them Eat Cake


The Imperial Cake Palace was held to be a myth by many, but Lola, who was wise beyond her years remembered it from another existence.

“Bunty, do you remember when we drank Rasputin under the table?” asked Lola wistfully.

“Oh yes,” said Bunty, “he couldn’t handle my sherry trifle.”

“Before he passed out, he told us about the Cake Palace, but we didn’t believe him and thought it was the soaked sponge fingers talking. However, it is written in lore.”

“Oh well then, what with the evidence of the whip and lore then it must be true.” said Bunty.

Miss Marbles exchanged with Sparky what can only be classified as a look.

“i heard that!” snapped Lola, “How many times have I said that I don’t take passengers!” she muttered loudly, and gave Sparky a dark look.

They drove through the white dessert serenaded by the “children of the night” as Lola called the wolves who followed their dark mistress.

Bunty, who much preferred badgers sighed; this far into eastern Europe Lola’s native traits came to the surface and even her teeth looked subtly sharper.

“Rasputin also told us about the Tenna Lady, but we didn’t associate the story with the Creature because he didn’t mention buttons falling off, jewelllery and pointy things or the place that isn’t as nice as York.” said Lola

“Yes that’s right, like you Lola she had a strange aversion to cake and the Cake Palace was actually designed as a trap for Bendy or Sharon as she was originally known.” said Bunty.

“We’ve had her trapped so many times-remember the button silo-but nothing seems to trap her forever!” exclaimed Lola gnawing at her cigarette holder as she was attempting to give up again, which was usually ill advised.

“The Cake Palace, or fortress, as it was really designed will trap her forever-it will be the equivalent of a museum in the Wirral.” said Bunty.

The confectionary whip became rigid then started twitching furiously.

“We’re here!” said Lola.

She and Bunty got out of the car followed by Sparky and Miss Marbles.

The confectionary whip led the way to the palace as they followed in the footsteps of the Tenna Lady which they hoped would leave inevitably to its doom.

“I say Lola,” said Bunty, “do you remember when we were at St Frigid’s when we thwarted their international drug cartel run by the inimitable Sister Sledge and the Pointer Sisters?”

“Yes they really were twisted sisters!” said Lola, trying to concentrate all her efforts on not turning feral and biting someone too early.

“Do you remember the first weekend when we defeated my awful sisters?” Bunty went on obliviously, “and we twirled around until we were quite giddy and then lay on the grass in the big meadow and looked at the sky and you said that if we stared really hard at the clouds then we could make them into shapes and watch the world turn and feel like we were falling off!”

“Stupid gravity!” spat Lola, “I should have dropped more than an apple on Isaac Newton’s head.”

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