Bunty Smells A Rat!


The interior of the castle was not a disappointment; Lola’s suite was medieval Gothic; the Gefilters had their own methods of revival. It had bare stone walls with tiny high windows at the top of the tower in which it was housed with a strange iron grille in the floor. There was a massive furnace of a fire with a huge range and seats within the chimney. It was a necessity as the room would have been quite chill and damp apart from the fire and the aid of heavy tapestries with scenes of impaling and strange figures, who were recognisable as Gefilters by the black/blue hair and pale sanguine features-except for one or two who were unaccountably blonde and a bit chubby.

There was another anomaly; a pink padded door which led presumably to an ensuite or an iron maiden, one could never tell.

Lola pushed the door open with a battle axe lifted from the wall and gasped; in place of the usual tin bath and hole in the ground was a bathroom worthy of a hollywood star with a dressing table surrounded by electric lights, hot and cold running champagne, and water, fluffy towels and everything that a girl could possibly need.

There was also a maid scuttling around with a discernible limp arranging toiletries who Lola found disturbingly familiar.

Bunty was shown into rooms which had mercifully been plastered and was sensibly decorated much to Bunty’s taste, apart from the gargoyles which seemed to move if one stopped looking at them.

Her rooms overlooked the courtyard and the stables where the Daimler was housed it was lit with torches which blazed in the gloom.

She eased open the casement window as she though that she saw a movement near the stable door; it was a rat, a huge rat, bigger than the ones that lived in the sewers in Gusset or the coypu that Bingo had inadvertently brought back from his travels abroad in South America that plagued the lake at home and had nasty orange teeth and horrid cheap fur.

It turned and hissed at Bunty, trashing its fat white tail and seemed to saying a sibilant almost human voice;

“You’re not her best friend!” before scuttling off across the cobbles and up an ancient drain pipe where it sat on top of the water head fashioned as a dragon, which wobbled under the weight of the monstrous creature before sloping of, dragging its hideous form over the battlements.

“I must warn Lola!” said Bunty, but seeing no immediate risk settled down by the warm fire and rang a bell marked something in cyrillic script or possibly cuneiform which might have been kitchen or maybe even dungeon to order tea and cake.

Lola was busy chasing the horrid monkey like maid around her chamber toward the iron grille which she remembered led to a tiny well like cell in which her ancestors still kept traitors before impaling them. She was remarkably strong and managed to push the grille to one side and trapped the maid in the cell, taking great satisfaction as she heard the howl and waited a good hour before she heard the splash at the other end.

The door to Bunty’s rooms opened and a dishevelled elderly creature with a dramatic stoop entered carrying a cage;

“I didn’t order a monkey!” cried Bunty; the sound echoed throughout the castle.

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