The only way is up

“Which way is Siberia?’ said Bunty trying to change the mood, The piece of paper fluttered to the ground and Lola jumped on it several times. “Up Bunty Up, I know its North” she said testily. Bunty was rather glad she had brought her knitting, working out the stitches she needed to cover the gun adequately on the tank would take her mind off the problem of the old enemy.

They loaded up a vast collection of fur coats that would come in useful as the temperature dropped and Bunty made herself a nest amongst the panda skin capes . Lola bellowed down the talking tube connecting her to the kitchen where Clarkson was with Mrs Damson. She could hear him providing a running commentary to some race of his devising between him and Mrs Damson involving what sounded like who could bicycle fastest through a layer of treacle.

Her bellows tinged with an aroma of gin made contact and he reappeared and carried their baggage to the car.

“Where to now Ma’am ?” he said

“Siberia” said Bunty hauling the knitting through the door.

Lola closed the dividing window so he could not hear them. “I don’t like him Bunty he is very smarmy and looks like he will be trouble”

“I know what you mean, but he may come in useful, and if we really can’t stand him we can ditch him, though it means I will have to drive.” said Bunty.

Lola knew what that meant. Bunty could drive almost anything apart from a combine harvester, not since the major’s demise anyway but she sometimes arrived at places that were not the original intention. A very good piece of blackmail on the Chief Constable had kept her licence pristine but it might not always be that way.

Clarkson had resumed his none stop blithering and looking at the passenger seat as if someone was there. But with the window shut they could ignore him and soon signs on the road indicated they were indeed heading North. They reached a long straight stretch of road and Clarkson slid the window back and uttered

“I’m going to open her up and see what she can do!”

He stomped on the pedal and with a throaty roar (that came from Lola) he tanked it down the road.

He didn’t realise that as it had been Bingo’s car  Bingo had made some modifications and the overdrive gear actually was an over drive. The car gained momentum and rose from the tarmac. Clarkson whooped and shouted with glee like some over excited school boy.

Bunty and Lola glanced at the treetops and resumed their game of cake poker. It suited them down to the ground Lola won the cake but made Bunty eat it.

“Well that solves the problem of crossing the water to get to Siberia without having to mix with …people” said Lola with a shudder.

“Unless we run out of petrol first” said Bunty being rather practical for once.




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