Fitness Freak

As it was well known and indeed part of Bunty’s psyche that her love of all things cake took precedence in her life it came as something of a shock when Branwell shuffled up to her and presented her with a gadget.

“what is this then? “she said turning the wristband come bangle over in her hand.

“I thought it might help you get fit” replied Branwell nervously

“How does it do that then? she eyed it suspiciously as Branwell clipped it on her.

To her amazement a rather smug voice greeted her

“Good morning, today is the first day of fitness! Lets get going!” it chirruped

“Just give it a chance Bunty, you might enjoy it.” he said backing away pretty smartly.

When he left Bunty thought it could go in the drawer with her other health inspired buys. It was having none of it and shouted at her as she tried to take it off.

” Lets go 50 press ups NOW!” Bunty was so startled she assumed the position and tried to obey. After two she collapsed in a heap.

“Call that a work out fatty get going and don’t try anything like that again!”

For the next half hour Bunty was subjected to all manner of name calling from wheedling “You would look so pretty without wreaths of fat around your face..” to Woah what blocked out the sun, oh yes your butt” Bunty thought it must have been made in America.

It was altogether too much and one thing was for certain; in fact two things, one, Branwell was going to get it and two she would defeat the vile fitness gadget.

It had decided it was nap time and had rescheduled itself to resume activities in half an hour. Bunty went into the kitchen and made for the cake tin. Horror, there was one slice left so she set to and started to make up a cake mix.

Just as she was getting to the good part, mixing extra chocolate in the chocolatey spongey goo the infernal gadget woke up and demanded to resume.

Bunty stuck her wrist into the cake mix and heard the gadget gurgle and curse.

After several minutes of Bunty swishing her arm around it stopped.

That’s stopped it she thought happily. But just as she wiped her hands it blinked into life and issued a rather odd command.

*Yes lets go! Bench press 10 doughnuts, lets see how many cake sprinkles you can hoover up in 10, 9 ,8 ….”

Bunty looked at her watch, gadget defeated in two hours not bad, and now it is my creature. The phone rang, it was Lola she had refined her perfume and was in the process of trying it out. She was happy to report that on squirting it on and going out to party headquarters several people had demanded she run for President.

“I ‘m not sure if I can though Bunty I would have to go to America. I need to tone it down a smidge I think, it’s obviously too strong.”

Bunty chatted for a while on recipes for the perfume but the gadget kept butting in saying it was hungry and needed cake, NOW. “Who is that Bunty? Lola demanded.

“Its something Branwell bought me, I can’t remember what he called it but I have renamed it “The Fatbitch” It keeps me on track with my calorie intake.”

“Sounds like your mother” mumbled Lola



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