Lola Pulls It Off


Lola sauntered to the art deco lift and to flout the non smoking regulations lit herself a large Cuban cigar and headed for the basement where piles of maps of the city awaited her displeasure.

Bunty was waiting in the loading bay with the second best Daimler with the engine revved.

The Canard Building was replete with ancient Aryan symbolism and fascistic emblems which irked both Bunty and Lola as the had visited ancient Rome and had encountered the Viking hordes, as well as being part of the downfall of both Mussolini and Hitler.

Also the building was situated on ancient ley lines and was formed in the shape of a sigil of evil designed to worship the god/demon Baal.

Lola took out her hip flask of pink gin and had a quick glug-she looked at the pile of loathsome maps, considered giving the conflagration a boost-decided it was a waste of good gin and that the general aura of spite, ineptitude and low voltage evil on the fourth floor would be enough to add to her initial spark.

She tossed the stub of the cigar onto the pile, blew on it until her gin soused breath fanned the flames into a fury representing all her years of mistreatment at the hands of the harpies and they soared towards the happily not HSE compliant ceiling and quickly caught the rafters heading upwards through the ancient and combustible plaster mouldings to the fourth floor.

Only slightly singed she teetered out on her lovely new heels and fetchingly tight skirt out through the waiting Daimler.

“Hit it Bunty!” shouted Lola as they reversed up the ramp into oncoming traffic and raced away from he oncoming blast.

They had of course been there before;

“Remember the Button Silo, the runaway ice-cream van and the museum Lola?” said Bunty trembling.

“Don’t mention the creature!” hissed Lola imbibing gin, just in time for the boom of the exploding Canard Building to be heard and chunks of evil masonry to be flung across the Dock Road, in fact across the main arterial river causing a danger to shipping in peace time hitherto unheard of and even flying as far as the far shore of the peninsula opposite which didn’t matter because there was nothing there of interest, except maybe the museum with something horrid lurking and festering in the basement.

Lola lit her cigarette on a passing smouldering chunk of debris and inhaled deeply, wiping the soot off her face elegantly.

“I do hope that this is he last time we have to burn the harpies and the fun palace down Bunty.” sighed Lola exhaling aromatic smoke.

“I rather think so.” said Bunty decisively “It is getting rather tedious.”

There was a final massive explosion which razed  the building to the ground and leaving behind a rather deep crater which unfortunately for the ladies had uncovered a deeper darker evil than they had experienced before, ever so much more horrid than buttons!

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