A lesson in going for the jugular.


Bunty and Lola were having tea. The age old ritual that takes many forms in many cultures. Indeed sometimes they even dressed in full Geisha dress when the need arose to take more comfort from such an intricate and exacting ritual.

Lola was giving forth, “It’s something to do with that building and the mix of people, they can’t seem to fathom that there is a world beyond where their stunted intelligence operates. It’s time their world was exposed to the light of day!”

Now if they had stopped sending out ‘their’ people to wreck Lola’s life then that would have been fine but wave after wave pointed at a vendetta.

“Do you think Lola that there is another reason behind it, maybe a covert operation by some subhuman ” he who should not be mentioned in small talk” perhaps?” said Bunty as she refilled the dainty tea cups.

“It had occurred to me to Bunty but no, I don’t feel it in my withers.”

Bunty thought that perhaps Lola was not familiar with parts of a horse but with Lola you could never tell.

“So that means we have to come up with the ultimate end game” she added, pausing for dramatic effect.

“Yes I think there is a point where a line has to be drawn in the sand. what should be the battle plan then, can we use all modes of modern witch warfare! I must get the book!” Bunty untangled her legs from beneath her silken Geisha costume and staggered out into the section of the library that held the books of ancient warfare and witchcraft.

She came back with Ruddley Stinkhorns seminal tome on battle plans, “Ye Dragon baiting, spitting and cursing of nations”, “Battlewagons, a modern history”, and “Baking for battles!”. Handing them to Lola one by one though the last one she kept, “Could come in useful if it goes on too long.” she muttered.

“Haven’t we got anything more up to date” said Lola.

“No Uncle was the book buyer and once he stopped then the library did too. Nothing wrong with the basic principles though, i’m sure we can update it, if we need too.

Lola and Bunty took some plans to Branwell who looked at them and nodded saying he would see what he could do and they left him in the barn dragging in lengths of wood and coils of rope. There was a good deal of hammering and strange noises but after three days he came back to Bunty and Lola and asked them to take a look.

They trooped out to the barn and Branwell proudly undid he door to reveal the most gothic looking Trebuchet they had ever seen. The wood was carved with arcane symbols and the large ‘cup’ where the rocks would go had the words “a gift from Lola” inscribed around the bowl. Lola looked almost teary,

“It’s beautiful, I can’t wait to test it.” breathed Lola

“I’m glad you said that, lets roll her out and try it on that derelict greenhouse in the long meadow” he replied

“The one the tramps doss down in you mean?” said Bunty

“That’s the one!”

For a big piece of equipment it was quite manoeuvrable and once set up they loaded rocks and let rip. The satisfying twang of the rope as it let loose was followed by the hurtling into the air of several rocks, landing with a crash into the glass of the old greenhouse, followed shortly after by several tramps running for dear life.

Bunty turned to Lola

“I think we are set” she said.

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