Ding Dong the witch is for it.


Bunty came to, she had a terrible headache and a nasty taste in her mouth. What’s more she realised she was only in her weekend nightie, the one with swirls of marabou feathers around the hem.

” I must really stop putting cocaine in the icing” she said to herself as she started up the motor and continued towards Lola’s. The trail was marked out clearly in the mud by hundreds of badger paw prints and soon she approached Schlepping towers. As she turned off the lights she thought she could see several pairs of piggy eyes glinting in the bushes but she put it down to withdrawl symptoms.

Lola opened the door, her wild hair even more wayward the usual. Bunty could see she had been having ‘a turn’.

“Thank God Bunty! You have no idea.. well actually you probably do, that bloody Vinnegar has been making light with my lovely things and I’m not having it!

“Where are the badgers? was Bunty’s only reply.

“In the kitchen eating scraps, there are so many, they have a strange bond with me after they ate Dorking” Lola shuddered ” I think we should refer to him as “he who should not be named”

“MM yes, That sounds good, should be in a book.” said Bunty.

“Well once the little darlings have had their fill we can use them as tracking badgers and they can hunt Vinnegar down”. Bunty and Lola went into the kitchen where at least 40 badgers were having a lovely time eating bread, cake and generally snuffling around. When Bunty and Lola entered the kitchen they stopped and looked up, one badger seemed to be the leader and came up to Lola as though waiting for orders. Lola looked about and gathered up some tea towels that Vinnegar had been handling a dropped them in front of the badger. He sniffed them and made a low guttural sound that seemed to alert the others and at once they left in a stream of black and white fur to hunt down their quarry.

“What do you think they will do to her when they find her?” whispered Bunty

“Who knows, but I expect it will be violent” replied Lola.

“Any chance of a drink and a slice of cake if they have left any” said Bunty

“And something warmer to wear by the looks of it” replied Lola

Deep in the forest Vinnegar strode towards her car she had left just off the track. She was feeling rather smug;she had always wanted to get even with Lola she couldn’t stand feeling so second rate compared to Lola. “I’ll show her who is top dog” she smirked. There was a stirring in the forest, a sense of impending doom and she quickened her step. The feeling became stronger and the straggly hairs on the back of her scrawny neck waved feebly in the breeze trying vainly to signal a sense of unease.

She stopped, and heard a rustling, snuffling barking sound that made her feel a bit chilly. Anyone with any sense would have known instantly that at least 40 badgers with  murderous intent were approaching at some speed and would have taken great pains to take evasive action but this was Vinnegar who had as much latent intelligence of a squashed beetle so she just felt a bit chilly.

She had nearly got to her car when she turned and saw 40 pairs of eyes looking at her.

Just before she was dragged down into the undergrowth she was thinking “OO twinkly fire flies” until a sharp pair of teeth grabbed her ankle.

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