While Bunty was settling into her time at home organising Branwell and rebuffing flower arranging women who rang up asking for him day and night Lola tried to sort out her life. she had found the attentions of Mr Whatt quite soothing and she began to spend time with him at his abode in Middle Gusette near the village of Thonge. She decided to move in with him and arranged to meet Bunty to discuss it with her.
Bunty! she shrieked down the telephone ” I’ve decided he will do nicely and I’m clearing out the old homestead but I have the feeling something spectral is hanging over me. Does Branwell have any herbs to cleanse one with?”
Bunty sighed, she had herbs, she had a sweeping brush and the relevant incantations in the recesses of her mind but Lola would call when she was knee deep in cake mix.
brushing the cat fur, flour and currants off her tweed skirt she responded.
” Yes dear, I will go into the walled Garden and cut some sage, I just need to put a cake in the oven and I will see you shortly.
Bunty calculated that she could be there and back in time to take the cake out of the oven.
She thrust the 15lb cake into the aga and stepped into the garden to cut some sage. Branwell was in the garden talking to a man about a new design of greenhouse he wanted to build. “YOO HOO’, just off to see Lola won’t be long” she waved at Bran well who raised his bushy eyebrows and mentally allowed for a three week absence of his Bunty yet again.
Bunty arrived at Lola’s in time to see her hurtle a large Jacobean wardrobe through and impossibly small window.
“She is getting good at that thought Bunty.
Lola opened the door several times as it had decided it didn’t want to let Bunty in.
“Bugger, see what I am putting up with. It is trying to keep me here!” Lola paused.
“We will have to be rather cunning” she whispered to Bunty.
Bunty rolled up her sleeves and said in a loud voice. “Lola this is such a lovely place are you redecorating?”
Lola saw Bunty wink at her and replied.
“Oh yes I think a lick of paint and some sanding down should sort out that door nicely”
A faint sigh went through the rooms and Bunty indicated they should step into the garden ” to see where to put the croquet lawn“
“Have you any idea who or what is at the root” said Bunty
“Dorking” hissed Lola while she chewed on a cheroot
“Hmm what we need is a magic bag, the sage. something of his and fire”
“He has quit the earthly world but he is rattling round here like a bad smell” muttered Lola.
Bunty emptied her Gladstone bag and reached for the sage smudge stick,
” I say we perform the goodbye spell and torch anything of his” Bunty replied.
“In his old room then, there are some stupid books of his left on logic and physics and what’s not real by Ivor Cogmizzing.
“That will do”
In order to deflect the house from their true intentions Bunty told Lola about Branwell’s idea of opening a glass house shaped like an igloo where he would show the children of the village all about the magical kingdom of plants. Lola volunteered her service as the eco witch who would tell tales of magic and would try and not bring in stories of death and destruction unless they were very bad children.
All the while they quietly built an altar and before very long Lola produced the magic bag and the ceremony began.
Upon the altar built of books and tools of the world of man and logic the magic bag sat glowing in the firelight.
One by one items belonging to Dorking were added to it. Bunty and Lola started to chant the “Witch grade 10 goodbye you bastard” spell slowly at first and then with more ferocity. Bunty lit the smudge stick and went to the four corners invoking the four archangels to assist in their quest.
The house shuddered and a wind started down stairs and the ran up the stairs in and out of the bedrooms and then swirled around them, unable to get close. Bunty and Lola could feel the rage and and as each item was dropped into the magic bag a screeching sound became louder and louder. Bunty dropped the sage into the magic bag where upon the contents burnt and writhed like a martyr being burned at the stake.
The bag consumed the contents and with a loud belch the fire went out and the noise stopped. “Open the windows Lola!’
Showers of blackened dust had risen into the air and were settling back down. Bunty and Lola swept them out and noticed the door opened with such ease they practically fell out.
“Think that has done it?” Lola coughed.
“I should say so, bastard” said Bunty with venom.
Some people never know when enough is enough” added Bunty
After several glasses of Tequila as Lola never had tea or coffee. Bunty remembered her cake.
“Have to go! Bit of a crisis cake wise.”
Lola waved her off and went back to her packing with a lighter heart.
When Bunty came back home she found Branwell in the kitchen looking at a charred lump. He had a hammer and chisel in his hand.
“There you are fancy a piece of whatever it is?”