“Lola throw some salt on the evil little beasts, and sing some old jewish songs about fiddling and a roof. They will scream in terror and shrivel into an amorphous jelly” trumped Bunty as she reached for the bunker of rock salt she kept for emergencies.
Happily the treatment worked and Lola’s rendition was mesmerising with the pathos she brought to each syllable.
“good shout Bunty, let’s hope that puts paid to him” sighed Lola
Bunty liked a challenge. There had been many in the bewildering life of the Tuff Muffin clan. It has to be said that the most bizarre had had something to do with Lola. While Bunty pensively stirred a vat of cherry genoa cake batter she thought about the latest one.Turning Lola into a lady M.P. First she had to have some training in fooling the masses not only some of the time but most of the time to make it worth while.
“I know muttered Bunty a vist to great uncle Harold Douglas-Wilson Muffin might be worth a trip. He knows how many beans make 5 when it comes to being a politico!”Bunty wasn’t totally sure if he had turned pinko and gone to some totalitarian state or had chummed up with a dictator somewhere in the Balkans but word was he had sneaked back into the country and was pretending to be his awful sister Nancy.
Lola threw herself through the Library door. She was practising making an entrance and satisfyingly managed to splinter the oak door and it swung off its hinges.
“Bunty! Come quick I can do the opening sentence really well in my speech to the unwashed!
“Look here, you will never amount to anything until you look to coordinate your outfits and never forget the power of accessories ” Lola shouted with feeling
Bunty looked a little perturbed. “Lola that will never do.”
“get your stole and get in the best Daimler we are off to see an Uncle of mine who has a lot of experience. He has done many things in his time, politics, doctoring you name it. He changes tack so often we call him the spin doctor. Mind you that was more about his love of spiders really. Lola nestled herself into the plush leather of the Daimler and thought she had really found her calling at last. Putting right the time continuum was secondary in this instance
“Onward she cried, and don’t spare the horse power!”