Vote Gefiltre!


It took her some time but Lola managed to free herself from the Wiccan snares and soon under instruction from Bunty was operating them with her wits and her foot and managed to hypnotise them into strange beliefs and had them doing her will as the dark cheer leaders of Hell-which was nice.

Dorking seemed to have mostly disappeared in most realities and Lola had decided that it was about time that she and Bunty needed to get back to their own realities and get on with stuff.

Lola was now allowed time out of the big tower as they thought that that she was one of them now and could not move over again to the “Dark side”.

“Bunty! she cried across the moore field tripping over her skirts, ” I can’t find my crystal ball where are you?”

“I’m here you silly bint!” cried Bunty as she lassoed Lola with a stiff hemp rope devised by the ancient Tuff-Muffins for flooring lively fillies which Lola certainly was and dragged her out of the mists and into the second best Daimler which had strangely arrived with Branwell at the wheel into the reality into which they had awoken.

“Bunty, I’m poorly I need champagne and nicotine!” cried Lola.

“You have work to do Lola!” cried Bunty, “I’ve been reading the runes and you have to defeat VLB and become Lady M.P. in witch country to redress the wrongs of the past!”

“Oh G-d.” cried Lola, sucking furiously on ten cigarettes and swigging a Jeroboam of champers, “Can’t I ever have a ruddy day off?”

“No!” said Bunty firmly, “the entire universe and its many parallels are at risk because of us and we must fix it!”

“Bunty what on earth have you been reading?” asked Lola before passing out.

Lola awoke for a change, on a nice soft feathery bed, she rolled over and looked into the face of Mr Amp.

“Oh!” she sighed, feeling slightly flustered, “Are you hear to recharge my batteries, you bad boy?”

Bunty was in the rather underused kitchen in Schlepping Towers when the plaster rained down.

“Lola is herself again!” she thought as she sat reading Tarot cards, interpreting animal gizzards, casting runes and scrying-it kept coming out as the same thing-Lola needed to stand in witch country as lady MP to tie all of the loose ends together.

For once it seemed that Lola’s silly whims were actually backed by intuitive insight.

“Well I certainly feel rewired!”purred Lola, lighting a cigar and blowing smoke rings looking at Mr Amp’s steamed up glasses.

“Now after all that silliness with Dorking I’m going to fulfil the life long ambition I’ve had since last week of being a lady MP!”

Bunty felt a cold shiver run down her spine and looked out of the kitchen window; it was an army of miniature Dorkings and not the bravery variety! Dorking, the evil idiot had succeeded in cloning himself and they were out to get Lola!

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