The Library at the Foundation of all Existence


Bunty and Lola watched as the bits of car and bodily remains flew about as the 4.20 cleared the line. Lola lit a cigarette.

“I say, that was a lucky escape!” said Lola.

“Yes,” said Bunty ,” but I don’t think it will be the last we see of it.”

“Well, what are we going to do now?” asked Lola, “I can’t possibly walk in these heels .”

Just then, there was a rumble in the distance and Padraig appeared on the horizon, waving from the window of the local omnibus.

“I say what’s that?” asked Lola, her interest in Padraig re-awakened.

“It’s public transport Lola.” said Bunty gently.

“Oh how horrid! I mean how socialist and terribly good!” said Lola quickly, “What is Padraig waving at me?”

“A bus ticket.” said Bunty as Lola threw her shoes off and did an elegant version of running towards the bus and Padraig, without even stopping to see if the destination of the bus was Much Schlepping.

Bunty decided to wait at the bus stop five yards away and watched in amusement as Lola threw herself onto the moving bus.

Dorking was still gibbering and threatening violence towards Lola but was fortunately still confined to the phone box that Bunty had trapped him into.

Bunty got on the bus and sat behind Lola and Padraig, wondering what they could possibly have in common, but her friend was clearly besotted and it took her mind off Dorking.

“Can I clip your ticket Miss?” asked a strange looking clippy with a squint, of Lola.

“How dare you!” cried Bunty affronted, “We’re upper class and don’t carry money! Go away you silly woman or I’ll have you shot!”

“Quite right!” said Lola twirling her fingers in Padraig’s hair, “Ooh look we’re nearly at Schlepping Towers!”

Bunty decided that they would have to re-enact the Ritual together and get Lola a solicitor to get rid of Dorking for good legally and magically.

They reached Schlepping Towers and alighted from the bus.

Mrs Damson, recently cleared of all charges and lobotomised, rushed to the main entrance presenting Lola with a bundle of legal papers.

“It says here Miss that you are still married to that horrid Dorking man and he’s called to the house from a phone box gibbering that he lives here!” she exclaimed.

“This isn’t good enough!” cried Lola, “I can’t deal with the horrid man and his chamber pot factory and that horrid person with the tatoos and no style or grace! Padraig, you get the workers sorted out and Bunty, we need to reenact the Ritual and do something with the Grimoire to get rid of Dorking repeatedly in several re-realities throughout space and time forever!”

She flicked her silver mink stole and strode into Schlepping Towers majestically.

Bunty drew herself up to her full size and followed as did Padraid, standing up straight for once.

Lola dashed to her study and stopped by an ornately carved book case made of ebony. She looked at Bunty for a moment before reaching for a copy of Lady Chatterley’s Lover and pulling it out of its place.

The bookcase revolved revealing a door that led beneath the ground into an elaborate labyrinth.

“Bunty, you know what this is, it is the temporal entrance to the Grimoire all reality, the magical works of literature are held within its pages as is all time and space, it is the library at the foundation of all existence-you know what it can do, but Padraig, are you willing to follow me into the maelstrom that may ensue?”

Padraig looked thoughtful for a while and said, “Go on then.” and stepped through,

Suddenly from nowhere Branwell appeared armed with a spade shouting.

“Miss Bunty is going nowhere without me!” and they all entered to encounter their destinies.

 

 

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