lust in the dust

Sated seems like the best description.

Lola and Padraig had fallen into a stupor. Every now and then one or the other would say something, apparently unrelated but this would cause them to fall about in heaps of laughter. Lola had almost wet herself but due to very strong lady muscles contained the situation. The word that caused this merriment was “Crackers”

“Stop it, stop it” she choked “I can’t take it any more”

“Padraig assumed a contrite expression and asked if she would like something to eat.

“I suppose I should, I must have something high in iron every 4 hours, perhaps some raw liver would be nice..”

Padraig said he would see what he could do and went out.

Two pairs of binoculars were trained on the unsuspecting Padraig as he redid the buttons on his shirt, well the ones that were still attached anyway.

Bunty looked him up and down and deduced that Lola would have had her  wicked way with him and by the looks of him he had survived tolerably well.

The other person spying on young Padraig was Dorkings; his hands gripped the binoculars and his knuckles blanched as he surveyed the jaunty step of Padraig as he made his way down the pavement towards the pub.

“I’ll fetch her something from the pub menu” Padraig thought. He stepped into the ‘snug’ and hailed the bar man.

“Could I get a plate of liver and onions and make sure the liver is lightly cooked would you?”

The barman stopped polishing his glass and sniffed the air.

“Yes, lad, is it to go?

“If you don’t mind, oh and some cheese and crackers too if you have some.”

The Barman licked the stub of a pencil and wrote the order down on a scrap of paper.

“Margaret! another order for that lady up the road” he shouted up the stairs

Padraig looked a little crestfallen, he thought he was being spontaneous.

Bunty decided she should keep watch, she knew the signs, lola’s lascivious behaviour was always followed by a gargantuan feast then she would disappear to a cave and sleep for several weeks. she thought she had grown out of it. It had begun  when they had worked in the circus and the gypsy women had muttered about the curse of the dark lady or some such rot but over time it had been hard to keep ignoring the signs.

Dorkings wandered down to the kitchens and tried to interfere with the cooking but the inn keepers wife was a very scary woman with a huge bust that started under her chin and finished by her waist. She had arms like a truck driver and just as hairy but her steak and kidney brought customers from all and sundry.

Padraig took the tray back to her rooms and kicked open the door.

Lola lay sprawled amongst the dusty files of past cases.

She looked up and said, ” Show me your affidavit you naughty boy.”

and he did.



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