Legally Lola


Lola decided to deploy her newly discovered legal qualifications to copyright the game with the balls which Bunty had christened The Lottery©.

She also decided that she needed a proper office in the village of Much Schlepping and a staff of clerks. The local firm of solicitors was Horwhich, Higham and Hughes, a bunch of ladies which was quite unusual for the 1950’s but nevertheless was so.

Lola made them a very generous demand that she overtake them and the name of the company was changed to Gefilter, Meshugga, Katzenkoph & Shyster as she changed the womens names by deed poll without telling them.

She stood back looking as the sign writer Mr Slater corrected his grammatical mistakes whilst she smoked a large Cuban cigar, wearing her lovely new Fedora and patent leather stomping boots.

Lola filled out the necessary papers and made herself and Bunty the sole owners of The Lottery© and she designed a form that people could put their numbers on and worked out that if they put the numbers in a tombola it would be much nicer than all the business with cats and fish pie and smelly men.

Bunty counted their winnings which were suprisingly good for a local hostelry and was thinking of investing her share in a new fangled box thing called television which was all the rage according to her friend Mitsey Muppet.

She didn’t claim to understand it but it involved lines and waves and quite possibly the dark arts which meant that Lola would be keen as well.

Branwell was nowhere to be seen and she looked wistfully at the garden which was neglected and over grown-the roses needed dead heading and the grass was unkempt. She sighed.

Lola was busy sealing things with wax in her office and two of the legal firm, Horwhich and Higham (formerly) had gone shopping for gloves and hats and Hughes (formerly) had gone to the pub because she wanted a fight with Albert who let his cat get into such a bad condition.

She was having a lovely time pressing one of her signet rings into the hot melty wax so didn’t see Mr Marshland entering the room.

He closed the door firmly behind him.

Lola was not capable of blushing because it involved lots of blood and she had a deficiency-but if she had then she would have gone very red in the face as she was alone with the union man. Instead she contented herself with becoming a bit giddy, which was always nice.

“Hello Ms Gefilter.” he said, “I was hoping to get some legal advice.”

Lola’s knowledge of the law was quite frightening considering she was technically a barrister-she had a system which involved working it out as she went along and looking at things in books-as her entire clan were in the legal profession and the garment trade she had been exempt for actually passing any exams.

It was not the law that she had in mind-she swept everything off her desk grabbed Mr Marshland by the neck and dragged him to her roughly.

“Consult me!” she cried-and this time she meant it.

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