Mad Max


After several Pimms and Gin and Tonics the conversation turned to what to do with Max.

“Well I’m for impaling the blighter on my travelling entrenching tool.” said Bunty as she whirled the said tool around her head.

“How did you pack that in your Gladstone bag” muttered Professor Wood, profoundly perplexed by the mystery of a four-foot tool being brought forth from a tightly packed travelling bag.

“It’s one of Daddy’s. it’s all to do with hinges” smiled Bunty as she lovingly polished it on her skirt.

“I don’t think that would work, Bunty. He has managed to defeat the badgers, being plunged into daylight, shot, you name it.” Lola downed her umpteenth Gin and swirled around in her gown, singing softly to herself one of the old songs from her native lands.

“what is that!” slurred the Professor, “he is singing back to you!”

in the cool night air fragments of the song could be heard. Lola stopped.

“I think I should try to talk to him to under stand where this obsession comes from” announced the Professor.

“Are you quite sure?” said Bunty I could come with and bring my ‘pacifier’ if you insist.

“No, I will be fine, I am going to try a bit of psychiatry, it’s a newish science and it may help us.” he replied

The Professor left Bunty and Lola to their aperitif and climbed the stairs to the tower.

As a precaution he took several burly servants and manacled Max to a chair.

“Tell me Max, why you pursue Lola?”

Max looked out of the window at the two women dancing a very wobbly rumba in the distance.

“You have no idea, the connection we have, it transcends time and space. You have neither the wit nor the intellect to understand!” he looked at his hands and tutted. Max was always dapper and it pained him to see his body aging.

The professor took out of his pocket some cards with ink stains on them. He was piqued by the comments made about his intelligence and showed them to Max.

“What do you see?” he held the first one up.

“A bat”

“and this?”

“A bat”

“and this?”

“a bat”

Max ‘s eyebrows had disappeared under his hair,

“You are foolish, Professor, my uncle was a Freud on my mother’s side, he played these parlour games many years ago while he was working on his theories of the human psyche. Indeed I have a penis envy unrivalled in my family and this is why I like nothing better than tall buildings with pointy tops. My next project is to take Lola with me to build as many pointy buildings as I can in a city that appreciates tall pointy buildings obscuring an otherwise pleasing vista of old and venerated buildings in a heritage site!”

The professor, who liked nothing better than old buildings to explore gasped in horror at this plan.

“But why?” asked the professor, dismayed.

“It is one plan that will supersede all others and I will be the most powerful!!”

“The Professor ran out of the room and down the stairs with the mad cackling of Max ringing in his ears.

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