One Plan

Max had been placed at the top of a tower in Professor Wood’s palazzo in a room which had been used to imprison one of his mad Italian ancestors on his mothers side of the family. She had developed a mania for chewing soap and had frothed at the mouth alarmingly-she was called Katerina De Wilkinsoni and had been barred from several prominent wash houses.

He had an unrivalled view of the river, but he felt very alone. He knitted his curiously black eyebrows together and thought about how he could escape and have Lola to himself again.

Lola was gliding around a terrace overlooking the river and was on her tenth consecutive Gitane, and coughing furiously.

“Remind me never to let that happen again Bunty!” she cried, “It makes me very ill when I stop smoking!”

Bunty was enjoying a nice glass of Pimms and sighed, pulling her throw around her shoulders as it was still a little chilly despite the warmth of the day.

Lola drained her glass of pink gin and whirled around in her stylish evening dress of black satin with a velvet trim, to see the Professor bringing fresh supplies on a tray.

“The servants are on vacation.” he explained, wondering just how and when he should break the confusing news to Bunty and Lola about the paintings in the cave.

Max had only his view to comfort him; he spied Lola on the terrace swishing around in her finery and there and then devised one plan to get her back, unifying all other previous plans into one vision. He would take her to Liverpool and live out his capital ideas for their future-for that was where he was from originally-the youngest son of an angry kosher butcher and a blind seamstress, he had been an average student at King Soloman’s school for boys and had scraped a scholarship to a mediocre university and had studied Schlepping for five years before graduating with a low second class degree without honours. He took his legal practice course and joined an unsuccessful firm. It was only when he met a certain spoiled rich girl called Lettuce when he was hired to make her the heir of Bingo Tuff-Muffin which through a series of terrifying events was wiped from everyone’s memory, even after the reading of his will, that he started to amass his small fortune.

He associated his good luck with Lettuce/Lola and he intended to use her once again as his hostage to success.

Lola could feel eyes bore into the back of her neck-she looked up to see the figure with its shock of white hair.

“Do you know Bunty, it’s not the fact that he’s probably a zombie or a vampire or something that puts me off-it’s those eye brows-I didn’t notice it when he was alive and we were married, but they seem to dance all over his face-it would put me right off!”

“Lola, you always have the other on your mind-it can’t be healthy!” said Bunty as Lola lit another cigarete in her long black holder.


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