The Mother of All Lady Moments


“Oh my blessed Aunt it’s me!” cried Lola, “How is that even possible? There would have to be a time machine or a strong family resemblance or I’ve been alive forever and can’t remember all this happening-ooh, it’s Bunty too! Max, has this got something to do with you and being evil?” she gasped.

Profeffesor Wood knew the answer, but he wasn’t inclined to reveal anything until Lola was out of Max’s reach and the ladies were alone.

The cave could be reached only via a long and winding tunnel through which the professor led the way.

Bunty could see paintings as the guttering torch illuminated the walls briefly and she was struck by the strong resemblance of a recurring figure to her friend Lola.

“Or don’t tell me she’s descended from a goddess now!” she muttered, “There will be no living with her!”

Lola started to twitch, “Max, what have you done to me?” she demanded, “Those knock out drops you gave me have poisened me and given me a brain tumour! My head is going to explode and I need a doctor now or I’ll die!” she sputtered.

“Now don’t be silly!” snapped Max, freeing his hand, which he was very self conscious about, “It’s only a flare up of your sneer reflex!”

“No it isn’t, I’m obviously dying you horrid brute!” she cried as she could now see the Professor and Bunty coming into view and wanted to distract Max.

“If I had a guinea for every time you tried to murder me I’d be filthy rich and wouldn’t have to work ever again!” she said.

Max raised an ironic eyebrow, in all the time he had known Lola, which led back to when she had been known as Lettuce and before that Lucretia, she had never done a jot of what he would class as work, and he was a former solicitor and everyone knows how lazy they are.

He was now of course an expert in regeneration.

“Lola why do we have to fight like this?”  he pleaded, “You are so cynical, but I will convince you, we will live in a big tower overlooking the river and there will be jam for tea and every concievable type of jam tart!”

“I don’t like jam you stupid man, and tall buildings make me giddy! Another thing putting me off is that we are divorced and I saw you eaten by an army of badgers and are clearly somehow now a vampire, and i hate you!”

It was at this point that professor Wood subdued Max with his bull whip and Max was gagged and firmly bound by Bunty with her travelling rope.

“Oh Bunty, I thought you would never come!” sobbed Lola.

“Oh dear,” thought Bunty, she’s going to have the mother of all lady moments.

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