The mirror cracked

No one spoke for  a good few minutes. Lulu took that as a good sign, she would never think for one minute that her face was no less than perfection and took their silence as awe in the sight of something heavenly.

Bunty and Lettuce could admire the handiwork, Dorkings had made her a sight that could not be denied but not beautiful, no, not that.

The nurses ran out screaming and broke the spell. Lulu felt worried and reached to touch her face; her mouth seemed to be at a slant and her face felt lob sided!

“Give me a mirror!” she shrieked

“I don’t think you should look – not until the swelling goes down at any rate” said Bunty gently.

Lola had no such compunction and handed her a mirror from the dressing table, “here, you would make a lot of money in Paris as a model” she suggested.

Lulu lifted the mirror and looked, her blood ran cold; she had seen in a magazine only yesterday a picture by Picasso, an apparently up and coming artist of a woman with a strange distorted face painted in vivid shades, she remembered how she had laughed at it with one of the other patients, a Mr Darwin who was surrounded by all manner of woodland creatures most of the time. He had looked at her strangely and said

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.

She had been telling him of how she was training her overweight daughter to look after her and laughing at her attempts to look presentable. This Mr Darwin had sat muffled in dark glasses and a scarf but had taken great interest in her family history. Had he had some hand in this she thought?

Lulu threw the mirror at Bunty, who ducked swiftly and it hit the wall with a bang, slid down and lay on the floor with a huge crack across the face.

“Oh dear seven years bad luck” said Lola with a smirk.

“Don’t worry mummy” said Bunty “we will get it put right”

“I will sue you and your blasted clinic” shrieked Lulu lob-sidedly.

“I don’t think so” said Lola, “This man posed as a doctor, he was not employed by me so you cannot say this clinic performed any surgery, and anyway I think it best if it closes down, so you won’t get a penny” She lit a cigarette and blew smoke in the one eye of Lulu’s that was looking at her, the other was looking at Bunty balefully.

One of the nurses came in with a tranquilizer and Lulu dozed off thankfully.

“Bunty, we could do with a proper holiday, lets book a cruise to somewhere nice.” said Lola between puffs.

“What about Mummy?” said Bunty who was trying to put dark glasses on Lulu but couldn’t marry up the nose with the eyes and gave up.

“I’m thinking a travelling circus may be a money spinner, but I’ll take a photograph and send it to Pablo, I knew him in Gstaad you know, I made sure he carried on painting, he nearly gave up once. I’m sure he will love Lulu”


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