the scene of the crime


Branwell turned up at the clinic and asked for the room belonging to Miss Bunty. One of the nurses escorted him to the room and he asked if she would be back soon. The nurse told him that there had been an explosion and they were still trying to find everybody. Some patients had been blown down the garden and even now were being helped down from trees.

Branwell was worried, he decided to go and look for her.

Lulu’s bandages were unwrapped and Dorkings saw the swollen face that was a result of a nose job and skin peel.

“My God I can hardly recognise the woman, mind you I can certainly make improvements! Ha Ha Ha” he laughed uncontrollably.

The attending nurse looked at him and he quickly added” Nothing nurse, just a joke I heard – I’ve just got it, too saucy for your pretty ears”.

The nurse accepted his explanation and smirked beneath her mask.

Lola and Bunty got off the train and ordered a car to take them back to the clinic. Bunty took out her traveling pipe and stoked it with her favourite mix of salty seaman’s shag and super strong Barrister baccy as favoured by ‘hanging judge Jeffers’. Lola favoured her Balkan cigarettes for pondering problems and together they sat in the back working out their next move.

“What about Hereward?” said Bunty, “When he wakes up and gets out of the coffin he will come after you, what do we do then? I still have some of the stakes left from our last visit to transelvestyte”

“I don’t think he will” said Lola “he has lost that element of surprise and I now know about him as far as his connection to me by birth goes. I will send him some rights to some of the lands on the outskirts of the country as long as he does nothing to harm me.”

“What about our powers Lola, Bingo must have bound them some how. He has been quite an influence on us all our lives. Even after death and Mother has suffered through him but I’m not sure why yet. She has been very cryptic about it all and won’t answer any questions. She said if I lost four stone she would tell me everything but I don’t believe she will.”

Lola understood now why Bunty had been so single-minded about losing weight. Lulu was trying to play Bunty like a fish.

“Didn’t your father tell you anything? What about your awful sisters? In fact I don’t believe they are your sisters they are so vile and what’s more they don’t even look like you!”

Bunty looked puzzled, although beneath the dense fug in the car it was hard to see anyone.

“He never said anything, he did dislike Mummy though, every time anyone mentioned her name he would disappear for days and then come back as though nothing had happened and he had been in the house all the time!”

“Perhaps he went up to Yorkshire to visit her?” conjectured Lola

They arrived at the clinic. Lola saw the signs of the explosion and the worried look on the faces of the staff as they walked in.

“Where is Lulu Tuff-Muffin?” she demanded

“I’m not sure, madam, I think Mr Darwin was looking after her, oh, yes and a Mr Branwell has arrived for you Miss Tuff-Muffin.”

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