The Gas Man Goeth


Back at Basket Case Manor, Lola sat down with a nice cup of tea and concentrated on the code books left behind by Bingo.

Now that she had accepted that they had indeed had a spell in a psychic training camp in the Urals during the war, as improbable as it seemed, she didn’t believe that Miss Honeycake, or any amount of Russian scientists, could have programmed them so deeply. It had to have been Bingo; why else would he leave her his estate, it couldn’t just be his role in her life with the Chester Historicals, he could have returned the crown jewels of Transylvestite by other means and in anonymity.

She was beginning to realise that Bingo was a genius and that the key to their release lay in his notebooks.

When Bunty came to she found that she was bound to a trolley, wearing a hockey mask and was being wheeled by D’Spaire down a dark corridor in the basement of Appen Asylum; had she imagined meeting her long lost mother?

“Now Miss Bunty!” said D’Spaire, “I’d like to reacquaint you with an old friend-I’m sure he’d like to have you for dinner!”

He took out his keys and opened the maximum security cell of  Doctor Hereward Lictor (who had studied by correspondence course whilst incarcerated.)

But when D’Spaire opened the door to the cell it was empty! Then a heavy object crashed across his head.

Professor Dorking looked at his watch; it was nine o’clock and time to release the gas!

Lictor had no antidote so had to scarper before the gas coursed through the asylum, so he left Bunty to her fate and made a run for it into the night and across the moor.

Professor Wood climbed in side the open window and was confronted by an elderly but sprightly lady in a flannel nightgown who began to bash him across the head with a bed pan screaming,

“Damned sewer!” nearly knocking him unconscious until he unleashed his whip and managed to subdue her, wrapping its length around her and pining her to the bed.

“Ooh, I’ve changed my mind about you young man, you can climb through my window any time!” she purred seductively, and despite the age difference, the Prof. found her strangely alluring and was quite aroused.

Bunty struggled with her bonds but she was bound too tight; “Where the hell is Professor Wood!” she thought, and started to feel overcome as the hallucinogenic gas began to take hold.

“Got it!” cried Lola, and ran to the garage to mount Bingo’s Brough Superior and rode away to tell  Bunty that she had cracked the code.

Professor Dorking walked through the clouds of gas but stopped when he saw Lictor’s cell open and D’Spaire lying on the floor. He spied Bunty tied to the trolley and sighed.

“Will those bloody girls ever leave me alone!” he stormed, but stopped long enough to release Bunty from her bonds, and was kind enough to slip the antidote in her mouth before he left for good.

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