Enter the Dorkings


Suddenly the room was filled with badgers of varying sizes. As one the snouts went up and once scented they made straight for Bunty, she was covered with over excited badgers. “Yes this is she”, they said to each other and jealously guarded her from harm. Miss Honeycake and Max were still tied to each other and saw with wonder the body of Bunty, still unconscious being carefully lifted by the badgers and moved across the room on a rippling carpet of black and white.

Mrs damson had fired a shot in surprise when they had come crashing through the french windows. She knew enough not to enrage a badger, indeed it was sewn into a sampler that hung on her bedroom wall. A motto that this day served her well. A pity max didn’t know it as he used his razor-sharp teeth to slice through his bonds and with a bound jumped from his chair and lunged towards the prone form of Lola.

Not a good move it turns out, the badgers protected Lola as companion to Bunty and occasional benefactress with biscuits. They lunged at Max. Their teeth were pointy too and made for biting. Max screamed and fell down. Mrs Damson nodded, “That’s right you show him” she encouraged as bits of Max’s clothes were shredded.

Badgers are omnivores. Miss Honeycake sat very still. She was a good spy but even her vast experience could not prepare her for an army of trained badgers. It was obvious that this strange mix and deadly duo that was Bunty and Lola had thrown up some interesting phenomena. What other things would surface. Miss Honeycake tried to reason with Mrs Damson. She was still tied to her chair and Mrs Damson was her best bet in escaping before they came round.

“Mrs Damson you best untie me so I can help Bunty and Lola. I need to be free to release them from the trigger words.” she reasoned

“I’m not so green i’m cabbage looking” responded Mrs Damson

Which roughly translated as “You must think I’m soft”

She was right and kept the shotgun trained on her as Bunty and then Lola started to stir.

Bunty sat up, her tweed jacket covered in black and white hairs and smelt of earthy fur.

The dorklings started to yap and jump up and down. Bunty thought she was going mad and then realised there were more than one badger.

Lola roused herself and desperately tried to brush off the hairs on her suit. She felt a great longing for tobacco and reached greedily for the cigarette box and took several. She put three in her mouth and lit them all. After several deep drags she exhaled with relief.

“Oh God that’s better”

“Good grief Lola what happened I was standing looking at Miss Honeycake and then – out like a light!”

“Trigger words Bunty, we have to be careful. Mrs Damson tape up her mouth!”

Mrs Damson obliged.

Bunty was busy saying hello to all the badgers; chucking bits of biscuits to all the little Dorklings.

“They saved us Lola, aren’t they clever!”

“Dorkings senior has trained them well Bunty, I feel like Sherlock Holmes with the irregulars!”

“Where is Max, Mrs Damson?” said Lola at last.

Mrs Damson pointed at the pile of shreds in the corner where he had fallen under a pile of outraged badgers.

 Bunty and Lola looked down at the remains, “What that carpet needs is a good scrub” said Lola. “Mrs Damson, first thing tomorrow I want you to go to the village and get some carpet cleaner and give it a thorough clean”

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