Dynamite duo


“But Mummy, how did you know her and why was she on the gin, with an Argentinian polo player, is that where she is?”

Miss Honeycake shook her head, “Give it up Bunty, Just accept the fact that you were better off without her. As were you” she said to Lola

“In fact that was one of the deciding factors that helped to make you too so easily led by a strong matriarchal figure”.

“Keep talking” said Lola as she cocked the shotgun.

“I have a very nervous trigger finger and it might just go into a spasm if I hear anything remotely untrue.”

Max sat staring at Lola, drooling still. The teeth were giving him trouble.

“Well it’s how I said It seemed the things that happened to you two couldn’t be put down to fate. There was something to investigate, it could be a powerful weapon in the wrong hands. Your Uncle Bingo, apart from being a cross dressing priest and music hall star was also one of the best counter espionage spies your country has ever had”.

“What do you mean – your country” Lola butted in, “Where are you from then? and what is your real name?”

“I have no country now,” said Miss Honeycake bleakly

“I have worked for the highest bidder, years ago I lent towards the Russians, You two have no memory of being there still?”

Lola and Bunty looked at each other and shook their heads

“You are totally off your chump!” said Bunty, she counted on her fingers, School, Finishing school in switzerland, one term only, bally place burned down, cruise with Daddy, met the Major (little turd) spent some time in India, came back, settled in Lower Gusette, bred whippets and horses, wrote some pretty good detective novels, the Major snuffed it, caught up with Lola and we have been together on and off doing a bit of the old detecting for real. Do I recall a sojourn in the land of Commies, umm no I don’t think so.” Bunty took a large intake of breath and seemed quite agitated.

“And you?” said Miss Honeycake

“Well similar, school, finishing school in Switzerland ..”

“Let me stop you there” said Miss Honeycake, “Can you tell me about anyone at the ‘finishing school’, What was it called for example?,who was in charge?”

Bunty and Lola opened their mouths to answer but neither of them could actually come up with any answers. They stared at each other in amazement. However they had done it their minds had been completely airbrushed for a lengthy period of time.

“But what did they do to us?

“I will tell you this” said Miss Honeycake both your husbands were in fact your controllers, they watched you to see if anything would surface. The major’s death was a blow but it was thought that you were safe to leave as long as you had no contact with Lola here. It is like putting a match to a stick of dynamite.”

“So that explains what has been happening?”

“Yes” said Miss Honeycake “It’s an unstoppable chain reaction”

There was silence for a few minutes and then Lola said “What a load of Bollocks”

“I can prove it” said Miss Honeycake “I could say the trigger word for Bunty and she will react”

“Go on then” said Lola

“Goesy homesy” said Miss Honeycake

Bunty dropped like a stone!

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