Tied Up


Lola stared hard at Miss Honeycake.

“Where you ever in prison in a small place in Eastern Europe called Transylvestite by any chance?” she asked.

“Lola, questions like that could cause a set back!” barked Bunty.

“Bunty, I have no idea what has gotten in to you-and I will let it pass for now, but this is my house and my business and I will deal with it in my way!” said Lola in a commanding tone, “Now I take it from that blank look Miss Honeycake that the answer is no-so that means only one thing-Mrs Damson fetch me my gun.”

As Lola was loading her gun a thought occurred to her-how did Max know from the depths of the asylum that Miss Honeycake was at the house? In all the intervening years the paths of Max and Miss Honeycake could have crossed many times.

She had thought that she might just blow Max’s head off as he had a disconcerting habit of  turning up like a bad penny, but now she had second thoughts. There was always something about Miss Honeycake that she did not trust-and there was that incident at the edge of the cliff that she was always on the point of remembering.

Max had been in the Chester Historicals and that seemed to be the key to many mysteries.

She motioned Mrs Damson to stand behind the door while she opened it and took aim.

Max stood there in front of her in a pair of pyjama bottoms grinning at her with absurdly pointed teeth.

“How do you like me now Lola?” he slathered, “Do I remind you of Vlad?”

Lola cocked her pistol, “Now you could try to run for it Max, but I doubt that you could outrun a bullet. What kind of assassin announces himself at the front door-unless you were sent as a decoy that is. Get inside-I want some answers.” she said.

Miss Damson took up the rear with a shotgun and they marched him into the living room.

“What on earth are you doing Lola?” cried Bunty, shielding Miss Honeycake.

“Out of the way Bunty, Miss Honeycake is not so sweet as her name suggests!”

“What on earth are you talking about?” said Bunty.

“Mrs Damson, tie them both up!” ordered Lola, indicating Max and Miss Honeycake.

“Lola have you gone mad, she’s our friend!” protested Bunty as Miss Damson deftly tied the pair back to back.

“Is she really though? She had rather habit of turning up just in the nick of time to rescue us didn’t she?” asked Lola.

“Well, yes.” agreed Bunty.

“How did she know? And how does she know Max?” asked Lola.

“She was a government agent and she can’t know Max!” said Bunty-but she was no longer sure.

“Why don’t you tell Lola why the bond between you is so strong?” asked a seemingly fully recovered Miss Honeycake.

“I, I don’t know…” faltered Bunty.

“Yes you do, she’s like your Gin soaked whore of a mother who bolted with an Argentine polo player!” said Max.

“Mummy, you knew my Mummy?” asked Bunty near tears.

“Yes and she was no good!” said Miss Honeycake.

“Miss Honeycake why are you saying these terrible things?” asked Bunty.

“Because the both of you are fools! ” said Miss Honeycake ” The pair of you were the subjects of an experiment! You were to be a secret weapon which caused mayhem wherever you went. That summer that lost summer you spent at psychic boot camp behind the Iron Curtain, I was there, and so was my lover Max!”

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