The Rhino in the Room


After cocktails had been consumed, Professor Wood was sent to his room in the attic in disgrace to think about what he had done.

“I’m more disappointed than angry!” cried Lola after him giggling.

“What are we to do with him?” asked Bunty, “I suppose we do owe him some sort of reparation after the way Bingo treated hm.”

“Well, I could give him a job at Transylvestite University, or we could send him to Appen Asylum, it seems tht most of the people that we know end up there.” said Lola.

“Yes, I was wondering when we’d get back to that!” said Bunty.

“I know, we did get a bit distracted.” said Lola “Why did Bingo build the asylum in the first place? Was it simply to practice his experimental methods on his patients in private?”

“Well if it was it’s awfully sinister, and what I want to know is where Bingo got all his money. He was comfortably off and had inherited Rickets after Daddy with us having no brothers, but there were debts from the estate.” said Bunty.

“He didn’t even try to fence the crown jewels and the treasure in the folly was clearly plundered, but we are forgetting the thread running all the way through this, Bunty, we are in a lodge of the Chester Historicals.”

“Yes, ” said Bunty, “but it still does not explain why practically everyone from our past has ended up in the asylum-it can’t be a coincidence.”

“I know,” said Lola, “gosh who do you think wll turn up next-Miss Honeycake?”

They both guffawed with laughter at the thought.

Meanwhile, back at Appen Asylum, Professor Dorking had escaped from his cell-it was a nightly occurance, he had liked to wheel around the other cells to taunt the other inmates. In fact, had it not been for his damned wheelchair he could have escaped many times over the years-and the asylum was a quiet  place to work, apart from the screams, and it was rent free with medical benefits and the food was quite good.

Now that the feeling had been restored to his legs, he liked to roam about and test his new found mobility. That night he decided to taunt the new comer Max, who claimed to be a lawyer but looked like a used car salesman.

Dorking brushed his bushy eyebrows and crept across to Max’s padded cell with a taser concealed in his pocket.

Max was in a straight jacket in the corner, gigbbering about what he would do to Lola, Bunty and the badger if he ever got out of his bonds.

Dorkings ears pricked up at the mention of those familiar names.

“I’ve had far too much gin and you’ve nearly finshed that bottle of absinthe so we’re far too pissed, to think clearly now!” said Lola

“Let’s start a fresh tomorrow.” she said, standing up then promptly falling over.

“Can’t take her drink!” said Bunty to the tangerine rhinocerous who was dancing the Can Can.

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