Basketcase manor


The next day they packed up the Daimler and with Gangee at the wheel headed north. It was a long drive to Bingo’s house and late in the afternoon the Daimler turned into the long and winding drive. The house was not handsome, it loomed out of the mist that was descending quickly. Outside the grounds a dismal moor stretched in all directions and was pock marked with outcrops of granite. “What is this place called” said Lola, she looked at the view and lit a comforting cheroot.

Bunty was looking through a guide-book of the area called “things to do in ey up” “It says this is called the Misers Moor where those of a careful nature could visit and bury their money to avoid death duties”. she continued “Basketcase Manor is said to be haunted by several ghosts, The White lady, The  Grey lady who didn’t wash too often and the Dribbly servant. Sounds likes Ricketts, should be right at home” Bunty looked up at the house, the lights were ablaze and it looked like several of the Tuff-Muffins had arrived earlier. it had the air of a curious bacchanalian feast taking place but then the Tuff-Muffins usually knew how to enjoy themselves even at the reading of a will.

Bunty and Lola entered the house and were met by a doleful housekeeper who showed them to rooms on the first floor. happily it seemed that Bunty’s room housed several wardrobes that on inspection held rows upon rows of garments that Bingo must have worn. There was a full range, from full episcopal garb to his alter ego as a transvestite. 

Bunty spent sometime trying on various outfits and dressed as a bishop she knocked on Lola’s door.

Lola opened the door, she looked her up and down “Purple is not your colour, right size though Bunty, what else is there. You might actually find something to fit for a change” She returned with Bunty to go through the wardrobe and they finally settled on a mixture of episcopal gown with a nice little fur stole and some high heels. 

“Fancy you and Bingo having the same size feet” said Lola

“I can’t walk in these!”  Bunty took tentative steps and swayed dangerously, listing to starboard as she walked up and down.

“Look, it’s all in the hips, watch me” Lola sashayed up and down like a good un and made it look easy.

Bunty, tried again, this time she got to the other side of the room without looking like she would topple like a large redwood and Lola had to be satisfied.

The gong sounded in the hallway signalling the start of the reading and they went down the stairs and were shown into a large comfortable sitting room. Lola and Bunty noticed Bingo had a very strange taste in pictures and stopped to stare at an odd collection of portraits. At first Bunty thought they were Tuff-Muffins but looking closely they had all the same title underneath. It said ‘Prisoner, Appen Asylum’. 

“How curious” said Bunty, 

The nameless housekeeper said “It was Mr Bingo’s interest, his patients, he worked at the asylum for many years.”

All comment was stifled as the lawyer cleared his throat and started “We are here to read the will of Rev Bingo Tuff-Muffin….

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